Nothing But Holiday Limericks

An Elf Named Bing - A White Christmas Limerick

There was an old elf named Bing
He was good at only one thing
He was clumsy with tools
And broke all the rules
But boy could he sing, sing, sing.

A Skeleton Named Greg - Halloween Limericks for Children

There once was a skeleton named Greg

Who did not complain, whine or beg

He looked at his feet

Then felt incomplete

And said help me find my left leg.

A Groundhog's Day Limerick for Children

Every year, on the second of Feb.
The groundhog pops up his wee head
If his shadow he sees
To his burrow he flees
For six weeks, he'll go back to his bed.

A Snowman Named Vince - Limerick Poems for Kids

There once was a snowman named Vince
But no one has talked to him since
Without any sound
He ate a whole pound
Of super-hot cinnamon mints!

The Jenny or the Jake? A Thanksgiving Limerick Poem

The man had a tough choice to make
Which of the birds should he take?
Both turkeys looked good
But he thought that he should
Take the jenny instead of the jake.

(A jenny is a young female turkey.
A jake is a young male turkey.)

A Monster Named Ted - Funny Halloween Poems for Kids

There once was a monster named Ted
He filled most children with dread
But I'm in third grade
So I'm not afraid
Except when he's under my bed!

Elsa and the Snow Flurry - A Christmas Elf Limerick

When Elsa saw the first flurry
At once, she started to scurry
"I'm getting too old
To handle the cold,"
She said as she found something furry.

A Turkey Named Dobler - Thanksgiving Limericks for Kids

There once was a turkey named Dobler
His buddies all called him "The Gobbler"
But he was not able
To stay off the table
And he lay beside the peach cobbler.

A PUMPKIN NAMED LILLY - 56 Limericks for Kids, Volume 2 - Now Available on Amazon

I'll tell you just what you should do
Go out, and buy Volume 2
A Pumpkin Named Lilly
Is what you need, really
Press down on you mouse and click through!

An Uncle Sam - Fourth of July - Independence Day Limerick

There is now this grand old guy
His birthday's the Fourth of July
His name's Uncle Sam
And he does give a damn
His spirit you cannot deny.

A Good Friday - Easter Miracle Limerick

When the guilt of sin does seize us,
We should turn to our brother, Jesus,
His death on the cross,
Was truly a loss,
But the miracle on Easter - it frees us.

A Reindeer Named Chuck - Christmas Limerick Poems for Kids

There once was a reindeer named Chuck
Who had more than his share of good luck
He sang a fine song
And was also quite strong
- He could pull more toys than a truck!

Vintage Christmas Card Limerick Poem - To You And All Your Kinfolk

To you and all your kinfolk
A happy Christmas Day!
A crowded year
Of joy and cheer
And fun and work and play!

An Angel Named Joyce - Christmas Limericks for Kids

There once was an angel named Joyce
She had quite a beautiful voice
Whenever she'd sing
The bells would all ring
And all of us humans rejoice.

A Turkey Named Drew - Thanksgiving Poems for Children

There once was a turkey named Drew
Who ran with more speed than he flew
When the gate was ajar
He sprinted quite far
And kept himself out of the stew.

A Turkey Named Mabel - Thanksgiving Limerick for Kids

There once was a turkey named Mabel
To fly, she was simply unable
But the gate wasn't barred
So she ran very hard
And thereby avoided the table!

The Poulter and the Girl in the Frock - A Thanksgiving Limerick

"Here is the pick of the flock,"
Said the poulter to the girl in the frock
"It's OK," said she,
"If you flirt with me,
But please be polite and don't gawk."

Macy's Thanksgiving Parade - A Limerick

For Thanksgiving, I am afraid
That my waking, it might be delayed
If something goes wrong
And I sleep too long
I'd miss the Macy's parade!

Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe - Limerick Style

Well, first you need a big turkey
From there it gets a bit murky
To stuff it or not?
And make sure that it's hot!
But cook it too long and it's jerky.

Halloween Recipe Limerick for Kids

There was a young witch named Kelly
She wanted to make something smelly
An old sock and a toad
And a skunk off the road
In a pie, gave an ache to my belly.

A Young Witch Named Betty - Halloween Limerick for Kids

There was a young witch named Betty
She couldn't keep her broom steady
Try as she might
She couldn't take flight
I don't think she'll ever be ready!

Cry of the Banshee - A Halloween Limerick

When you hear the banshee's shrill cry
A person, high-born, will die
A murder, quite often
Is what fills the coffin
Then under the turf he will lie.

How To Carve A Pumpkin - Halloween Limerick for Children

Young Jack, the pumpkin, sat mute
Quite happy to be a round fruit
A boy with a knife
Made him fear for his life
But carved him a face that was cute.

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow - A Headless Horseman Limerick

There once was a fellow named Crane
With a fear of ghosts in his brain.
The man with no head
Filled him with dread
But was that poor Ichabod slain?

Or rather, did Crane in his fright
Turn tail, run, and take flight?
One never knows
How that story goes
Was Crane out of mind, out of sight?

A Young Witch Named Kelly - Halloween Limericks for Kids

There was a young witch named Kelly
She wanted to make something smelly
An old sock and a toad
And a skunk off the road
In a pie, gave an ache to my belly.

Wolf Man Jack - Halloween Limerick

There once was a wolf man named Jack
He was hungry and wanted a snack
He chased me and then
He turned tail when
I gave his fat snout a big whack.

Halloween Skeleton Limericks for Children

We heard some clitter-clattering
When the rain was pitter-pattering
We looked and discovered
A skeleton uncovered
And its bones were chitter-chattering.

A Halloween Vampire Limerick

A vampire is a very suave creature
Was the lesson Vlad tried to teach her
"He leaves his coffin
Just every so often,"
Said Vlad as he leapt up to reach her.

There Was A Dumb Ghost Named Liam - Halloween Limericks For Kids

There was a dumb ghost named Liam
In the dark it was quite hard to see 'im
But during the day
You might hear him say
"Watch me seize the carpe diem!"

Memorial Day Limerick

We're sitting here tweeting and friending,
So let's just stop all the pretending,
The freedoms we use,
Are easy to lose,
So honor those who've died defending.

A PIRATE NAMED MOLLY - 56 Limericks for Kids

Now Available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Createspace - Limericks for Children

There once was a guy named Randy
He thought rhyming words were dandy
His young daughter Kate?
Her pictures were great!
They hope that you keep their book handy.

Now available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, andCreatespace.

A GUINNESS ST. PATRICK'S DAY LIMERICK

'Tis sure we'll be wearing the green,
When the calendar says March seventeen,
We'll be happy when in us,
Are pints of black Guinness,
Try some, you'll know what we mean.

A HARP LAGER ST. PATRICK'S DAY LIMERICK

'Tis sure I'll be wearing the green,
When the calendar says March seventeen,
I'll drink a few Harp,
'Til my wits become sharp,
Just try some, you'll know what I mean.

A SMITHWICK'S ST. PATRICK'S DAY LIMERICK

'Tis sure I'll be wearing the green,
When the calendar says March seventeen,
To help me to think,
It Smithwick's I drink,
Just try some, you'll know what I mean.

Saint Patrick, He Is A Great One

That Patrick, he is a great one,
His staff, it's surely a straight one,
He drives out the snakes,
While good Christians he makes,
Of Ireland, he is the patron.

Abraham Lincoln - Presidents' Day Limericks

Lincoln was Illinois' greatest resident
That was proved by his time as president
- Kept the country together
Despite stormy weather
To do the right thing - never hesitant.

A Valentine's Day - Advice From Cupid Limerick

If you don't want to spend your night cry'n
Remember your sweet Valentyin'
Please don't be stupid
Just listen to Cupid
A small gift with nice flowers should do fyin'

Groundhog Day Limerick for Kids

There once was a groundhog named Phil
He liked to keep out of the chill
On Feb. 2 he saw
His shadow grown tall
So he scurried back under the hill.

Christmas Limericks For Kids - A Wreath Named Jo

There once was a wreath named Jo
She was proud of her big, red bow
Her circle of greenery
Made beautiful scenery
In the light of the fireplace glow.

A Nasty Old Grinch - Christmas Limerick

If he acts like a nasty old grinch,
And the sight of him makes you flinch,
Treat him with kindness,
Perhaps you will mind less,
Though his heart grows not even an inch.

The Reason for the Season - Christmas Limerick

I hope that your Christmas is merry,
And your jolly St. Nick is hairy,
But remember the reason,
for this joyous season,
Is Jesus, and Joseph, and Mary.